Growing up I never really understood why my parents didn’t want me to associate with certain children. I thought they were just hating on my friends, killing my vibe kind of thing you know. So I did my best to defy them to my woes, … Continue reading Choosing who stays
I realize I have been neglecting my duties as a blogger; part because of school, Internet and laziness. However, I want to change that. I started this blog as a way for me to connect to the wider channel of readers and have their opinion … Continue reading Trying to make my blog my baby
Inside every woman lies a girl and woe to those who keep her hidden…
I feel crazy. I am a frantic young lady panicking that that I am on the verge of total and absolute loss of control of my own emotions. 18 years of my life and I have believed in ‘mind over matter’. For me this has … Continue reading CRAZY
The fast pacing beat Hips in synch with the drum Today, everything is made to move so quickly The adrenaline rush is food for the century I revel in the rhythm The music so sweet It fills and overwhelms my very being I am entirely … Continue reading Dancing with my heart
The walls were closing in on me. Everything was spinning. That’s what it was like on the outside but on the inside it was much worse. Every liquid or solid I had assimilated earlier on was threatening to come out. I could taste the first hint of saliva on my lips as I crouched on the floor. None of the soothing gestures provided by my hand onto my stomach helped the situation or made it any better. I felt like throwing up and my stomach was eating up any strength I had left.
I had endured this before. That though, was not a consolation. Every time if felt either the same or much more. The striking spasms to my stomach nerves had me clutching my stomach even harder. I was weak and the room I was in kept getting smaller. I needed to get out. I needed air but my state of mind was weakened by my physical liability. The brass tacks there were to get out of there but I couldn’t.
Shouting for help was not an option. Any humane gesture from another human being was something I wasn’t ready to accept. No one could help me; no one could stop this pain. I had to conquer it all on my own. That’s the thing with inner pain- you can’t share it.
With that, I continued to struggle with these demons. To win, I let them possess me until they could no longer get anything out of me and let me be. I stopped fighting. Enduring the pain saved me.