I need you more than DOPE

You cut me into pieces that I hadn’t realised I had begun to build around you- around us- so much that they weaved and weaved. Like a spider, I knitted ever so intricately and delicately that even I was oblivious to the web I was spinning. So you see when you tore out of it and moved out of it, I lost it. I was in a bubble with you so ready to leave behind the things that I knew best to do- dope and flirt. For you, I was willing to forget the demanding social life I lead because you had replaced a need in me.
I’m sorry that I didn’t see how I had innocently driven tiny little needles in you. I didn’t notice how they pricked so gently for I imagine if they were sharper, I would’ve heard you scream. So when my needles gently pricked, you learned to grow numb from me- my hero, you lost the will to save me. If you had wanted to fight for me before, you must’ve gotten bored for you won the day you said hello. How could you fall out of my grasp before I could learn more of you? I will not speculate on whether another sewed a web with you for it is a waste of my emotions.
I brushed off the pain and pretended it didn’t hurt but now that I speculate I want to crawl into my blankets and weep. Every good thing must come to an end but oh precious fate, why didn’t I get just a little more time with you? They say good things come to those who wait… How long must I remain patient before I feel the way I felt with you? You made me feel alive and overwhelmed me with a might that to me is still unfathomable. Now I cannot stand to look at you without seeing the reflection of self-pity in the depths of my heart or is it just you pitying me too? I want to say hello just to prove you didn’t win over my heart and then throw it to the wind. However, I also want you to know you did me wrong and maybe you’d explain the cruelty so uncalled for.


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